3 month update! Ooops!!

Well it has been quite awhile since I have signed in. Wow, we have had so many things happen. I won't even begin to try to say everything that has happened in our lives. I will say a few things though.

A month ago we decided to go to Logan, Ut for a weekend getaway. We were not sure how Sam would handle it. He hasn't stayed in a hotel since long before he could possibly remember. We found a great hotel with an indoor swimming pool.

When we first were there, he kept saying "let's go". We just kept telling him that we are going to sleep here. Then it was time to go swimming. Sam loves swimming so very much! He seems to feel free and comfortable in the water. He has a life jacket that he wears and then he is off! He loved jumping in and climbing out, over and over again! We brought a little football to throw and catch in the pool. Fun, Fun, Fun!!!

He did so well! We were pleasantly surprised! We loved getting away! But I think we loved it more because he did quite well considering the newness of it all!

School has been mostly good. The one thing he is consistant at is being perfectly inconsistant! We never know if he is going to do well at school or if he is going to completely melt down.

He has a pattern. When he comes home from school he does one of two things. He either gives us his backpack and runs upstairs or he runs upstairs to his room to hide his backpack. Those homenotes are the deal maker or breaker! It is so funny that even when it is a good day, we will ask him how his day was. He just shrugs his shoulders and waits for us to read the note. He acts like it is a complete surprise to him whether or not he had a great day!

Last weekend, he had a runny nose and a cough. He just doesn't understand that it isn't the end of the world if his nose runs. At one point, he came in to me and asked me to give him a new nose. I told him I didn't know how to do that! Poor little man. He was digging so hard at his runny nose that he made it bleed on several occasions.

It seemed to be getting better so we sent him back to school on Tuesday. Wednesday night, he started crying and held his hands over his ears. So we decided to take him to the doctors the next day. He woke up acting like nothing had happened. I took him anyway.

The doctor looked in his ear and said "that is one funky looking ear". She went and got 2 more doctors to look at it. His ear was SO infected that it actually had ruptured and she could see the bone behind the ear drum. He has had to be in such incredible pain! It just broke my heart!

That is the hardest thing about autism. Not being able to talk to your child and have them be able to respond. He talks. He can play amazing stories out when he thinks no one is looking. He can quote any line from any movie he has ever seen. But, I ask him if he is ok, and he can't respond. I ask him if he wants water or mild and he can't respond. I ask him what he would like and he can't tell me.

It is like there is some hidden barrier that can't be broken even with a sledgehammer! I know he is hurting right now. And he can't find the words to tell me so I can fix it. It is so frustrating!

I know God has a plan for each and every one of us. I know that Sam is much closer to God that I am. But, as his mom, I just want everything to be ok for him. I want to make it better. I want to make it go away. And yet, I can't.

He is the light of my life! He is fun and funny and frustrating! He is my angel!